To all good Lords, Ladies and Persons Whose Gender Identity Is Not So Simplistically Categorised, greetings from Karl Faustus von Aachen, Crux Australis Principal Herald.
After consulting the entrails of a dozen exotic types of chicken, the Laurel King of Arms has issued the following good news for the kingdom of Lochac at his February 2013 meeting:
Elizabeth la Chatte. Name change from Brighid Gwynedd.
Gaspar de Soto. Name and device. Sable, a chief paly Or and gules.
Goswinus der Schmied. Name and device. Gules, on a plate an anvil sable, a chief embattled argent.
Gunther Boese. Device. Quarterly vert and argent, two wolf’s jambes couped inverted argent and a bordure counterchanged.
Helena Essheton. Name and device. Argent, on a chevron cotised azure three daisies argent seeded Or and a bordure azure.
Huguete de Saint Germain. Device. Argent, in pale three weasels passant and a bordure gules.
Thorgrim Dvergr. Name and device. Sable, a Thor’s hammer Or and in chief seven mascles conjoined argent.
Zofija Rawina. Name and device. Argent, in pale a woman affronty with arms raised argent vested gules crined brown seated atop a bear passant sable.
Congratulations, all! Rocket will be in touch shortly to give you the good news personally, and he won’t be giving anyone any bad news because, once again, everything we submitted has been accepted. Bravo!
And a reminder: if you want to see if you can do half as good a job as the magnificent Honourable Baron Domhnall na Moicheirghe as Rocket Herald for the kingdom, time is running out to throw your name into the ring! The address to send your applications to is firstname.lastname@example.org. Hurry!
And since it’s April, I thought I should share with you some of the names and devices invented for a very special Letter of Intent from the College of Heralds Imaginary. All of these and more were submitted on the first day of the month:
All Beefe Patty
(Evidence provided of the names All Frysmer and Marie Beefe, both in the 1560s in England, and Elizabeth Patty, 1599.)
(All parts of this name are documented from a single historical record, an actual person with that name in Derby, 1580!)
Demon Barber of Fletestreet
(Demon and Barber are late-period English surnames, Fletestreet is an interpolated 16th C spelling of
Many of the following use surnames as given names in the same way:
Best Pyes of London
Captain Cave Man, Or, a demi-wildman affronty vert vested of a cloak gules, maintaining a club sable
Faint-Not Fair Leyday
Hans Olo, Sable mullety, on a falcon argent an Uncial letter ‘M’ sable
Dall Leck (and the alternate name: Exeter Minate)
So the next time a herald mispronounces your name, just remember: it could be worse. Much, much worse…
: Karl Crux :